COMCAST CUSTOMER SERVICEMe: Hi... I would like to get clarification on the cost of Comcast Service at my new residence.
Comcast: Please give me all your personal information.
Me: Why?
Comcast: So we can set up an account.
Me: I don't want to set an account yet. I just want to know the total cost before I sign up.
Comcast: We need that information to verify your identity.
Me: Fine. My name is Sha-nae-nae. I live at ****.
Comcast: Thank you. One moment.
Comcast: Do you currently live at that address, Ms. Nae Nae?
Me: Does that make a difference in the price?
Comcast: (Silence)
Comcast: Okay, it will cost you your ARM, LEG, and your first born plus a hundred other little fees that add up to a king's ransom for cable, internet, and phone service.
Me: Wow. We have not even begun our relationship, and I already hate you.
Comcast: It was a pleasure serving you today.
Me: Liar.
Me: Why?
Comcast: So we can set up an account.
Me: I don't want to set an account yet. I just want to know the total cost before I sign up.
Comcast: We need that information to verify your identity.
Me: Fine. My name is Sha-nae-nae. I live at ****.
Comcast: Thank you. One moment.
Comcast: Do you currently live at that address, Ms. Nae Nae?
Me: Does that make a difference in the price?
Comcast: (Silence)
Comcast: Okay, it will cost you your ARM, LEG, and your first born plus a hundred other little fees that add up to a king's ransom for cable, internet, and phone service.
Me: Wow. We have not even begun our relationship, and I already hate you.
Comcast: It was a pleasure serving you today.
Me: Liar.
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