Comcast Customer ServiceMe: (Dialing Comcast's helpline)
Comcast: Thank you for calling Comcast. Please listen carefully to the following options: Press one for internet trouble... Press tw....
Me: (Pressing one)
Comcast: (strange clicking sound like my brother is on the phone saying, click click click click) We are experiencing a HUGE number of calls at this time and longer than normal wait times. You can always visit us online and chat with an online representative. If you would like to wait, press one.
Me: (Pressing one and mumbling) If I am experiencing internet trouble, why would you suggest using the internet for help?
Comcast: (click click click click)
(Three seconds later)
Comcast: Thank you for calling Comcast. How can I help you?
Me: If that was a longer than normal wait time, then I would love to see what a normal wait time is.
Comcast: What?
Me: Nevermind. I'm having internet trouble.
Comcast: Let me see if I understand you correctly. Your internet is not working.
Me: This is going to be a long conversation, isn't it?
Comcast: Excuse me. I didn't catch that.
Me: Yes. My internet is not working.
Comcast: Is the modem on?
Me: Seriously? We're starting with the power switch? Okay. Yes, it is on.
Comcast: Can you reboot it?
Me: I tried that already.
Comcast: Can you try it again?
Me: No, because that would only be an exercise in futility. Can we move on to another step?
Comcast: I can't until we have exhausted all our other options.
Me: Fine. (rebooting)
Comcast: Well?
Me: Nope. Not working.
Comcast: We exhausted all our options. Your internet is not working.
Me: Click Click Boom.
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