Adventures in Traffic: San Francisco Edition

I think that the phrase "I left my heart in San Francisco"originated from a driver who tried to navigate his way through the city when he wasn't entirely sure where he was going.

Today, I left my heart at the corner of VanNess and whatever street I was on because of this sign:

Each time I passed it, I had approximately three seconds and 50 feet to decide which lane I needed to be in to go straight.... and well... I missed the window three times. So I wrapped back around... and around.... and around until I finally figure it out. In the meantime, I had an ephiphany:

This is why most San Franciscans use public transportation. 

There is no way you can drive on autopilot in this city. NO WAY.

Yes, indeed, LA has its traffic and all the homicidal thoughts that its "traffic" evokes.  No one can take that away from LA. Not even LA. But San Francisco has dra-mah. Pure. Heart pounding. Drama.

En route from Noe Valley to the Marina, you may encounter any number of the following in no particular order:

1. Alternating four-way and two-way stop signs. 
2. Teeny-tiny stoplights off to the right and left at the bottom of a super steep hills.
3. Crosswalks in the middle of the road with pedestrians boldly going where no man should go when I am driving. 
4. One-way streets
5. Two-way streets
6. One-way streets that turn into two-way streets and vis-a-versa
7. No right turns
8. No left turns
9. Right turn only lanes
10. Left turn only lanes
11. Bus or taxi only lanes
12. Bike only lanes
13. Six lanes that merge into one lane
14. One lane that ends abruptly
15. An LSD addicts leftover from the 6o's reliving Woodstock in an intersection
16. A tourist wandering in front of your car after exiting a trolley with their noses buried in maps or eyes behind cameras
17. Buck nekkid folks casually standing on the corner sipping coffee even though the temperature is clearly unsuitable for birthday attire. 
18. A guy in chaps running through the street to catch a butterfly
19. A huge protest of some nature
20. A festival of some other nature
21. An art exhibit of dancers dangling from a building
22. A street closed for Sunday 
23. Sparking buses attached to wires
24. Trolley cars zooming by with commuters busting out the seams
25. Vintage subway cars rattling along side you
26. Bart tracks intertwined with muni tracks and car/bike lane lines 
27. Countless bikers
28. A few roller skaters
29. The steepest hills
30. The curviest hills
31. Rain
32. and Fog as thick as organic pea soup.

The upside is that it only takes 15 minutes for all that to pass before your eyes.