A Place to Call "Home": Part 2

Hide-a-Key, Seek-a-Key

As you look at the picture above, imagine Tim and I wandering around the door looking utterly and completely confused.

How did we end up here?

We found this listing on Redfin.com.

It had one picture. ONE. However, the realtor's write up on this place was spectacular... a sincere work of fiction. Truly one of the finest I have ever read.

We scheduled a home tour online through Redfin because I am a genuine sucker for good fiction. John, our Redfin realtor, called the seller's agent to schedule a viewing. He had serious trouble getting a hold of her, but once he did, she said no.

I know.

You are thinking- She said what?

She said no. We learned that the seller was moving out on the day that we wanted to see it, so we tried to schedule another visit to no avail. The realtor wasn't answering John's emails or phone calls. Alright.... playing hard to get. No problem. I know that game.

I tried contacting the seller's agent myself six times. Two weeks pass. Nothing. Grrrr. I looked up the unit on the agency's website and found out that the realtor installed a lockbox. Brilliant.

I conceded defeat and commissioned our "real" realtor, Shawn, to the task of obtaining the lockbox code so that we can view the house without the unreachable realtor.

Shawn embarked on his mission. After several attempts and a week of emails, he successfully obtained the gate and lockbox codes out of her. We didn't think to ask for a treasure map , but that's because we thought finding the lockbox would be obvious.

Silly Homebuyers, tricks are for realtors.

We get to the gate and plug in the code. Surprise! It doesn't work.

We walk to another gate and try the code. Yeah! We get in, but the townhouse is located in another part of the complex. Awesome.

We walk back to the original gate and try the code again. Success! We get in. We wander around for a while looking for the unit. Four-Two-Six-Niner.... What are you looking for- a walkie-talkie? All the numbers are screwed up. I felt like I was walking around Sepulveda Middle School looking for room 48.

Where it's located and where you think it should be located are two totally different places.

We eventually find the unit. Albeit, we are much older and wiser now that it has taken us an epoch to find what we believe to be a "diamond in the rough". Approximately ten seconds later, we notice that there is NO lock box attached to the door. We look around. Nothing.

Great.

We walk back to the gate. Nothing.

We walk to another gate.... whoopeee ... TWO lock boxes. Of course, neither of them are the lockbox we were looking for.

We walk back to the front gate again. Nothing.

Hide-A-Key, Seek-A-Key...... was quickly turned into Will-We-Ever-Find-The-Key? and a strong suspicion began to wash over me that the seller's realtor may not actually want to sell the place after all.

We walked back to the unit absolutely certain that we have overlooked a clue, but after an extensive search of the wall, door mat, planters, and ground.... Tim suggests window shopping.

We peered in through the windows, but decided after seeing some strange looks from passerbyers that spending the night in jail on suspected burglary charges wasn't our idea of adventure. We halted that action and commenced on another search for the lock box.

I spun around in a circle..... and WHALAH! I spy.... THE BOX!

There it was.... bolted to a bench in front of somebody else's unit instead of the gate where a normal person would find it. It was the EXACT place where I would hide the key if I wanted to successfully drain a potential buyer of all their remaining energy, drive, motivation, and perseverance.

It doesn't matter what was inside the unit. It took us so long to find the place. We died.